The Practice of the Land of Egypt

Near the end of this week's parshah, God tells Moshe:

"Do not perform the practice of the land of Egypt in which you dwelled..." [Leviticus: 18: 3]

For almost the rest of the chapter, each verse spells out a different prohibition against sexual immoral acts. With the holiday of Passover coming up, that which celebrates our freedom from the bondage of Egypt, this chapter is very fitting. Although we have been redeemed and are no longer under the dominion of the Egyptian empire (which isn't even around nowadays), we are still warned against following their corrupted ways, and this is mainly in the area of sexual relationships. Perhaps if we were to analyze this chapter more carefully we may come to a deeper understanding of sexual relationships, and be able to fully internalize what it means to stay away from "the practice of the land of Egypt".

Although the entire chapter is dedicated to sexual prohibitions, there is one exception. Verse 21 writes:

“You shall not present any of your children to pass through for molech…” [Leviticus: 18: 21]

Molech is the name of a particular type of idolatry that involves an individual sacrificing his own child, by passing him through a bonfire, in order to serve this “deity”. It was an extremely evil idolatrous ritual practiced among the other nations, and God prohibited us from practicing it (along with all forms of idolatry). Clearly, it is indeed a very strange commandment, for who in their right minds would do such a thing!? But what’s even stranger is where the Torah chose to place this law! As we said, chapter 18 deals entirely with the laws of forbidden sexual relationships. What explanation is there for why the Torah slips in the prohibition of the molech idolatry into this chapter? What we really need to ask ourselves is: what is the connection between illicit sexual relationships and idolatry, and why is it this specific type of idolatry that’s chosen to connect these two sins?

In order to understand these problems, we should first examine the basic distinction between serving Hashem (God) and serving an idol. In brief, the main reason we serve Hashem is because we love Him. Out of a special love for us did He choose us as a nation, and therefore it is our duty to show gratitude and serve Him with an intense feeling of love as well. However, at times, on the surface, it may seem that we’re in fact serving Hashem out of selfish motives; if one were to leaf through all the different requests we ask for in our daily prayers, one might think that we praise God only in order for Him to provide our needs. But in reality we ask for these different elements of life in order to serve Him on a higher level. When we pray for sustenance, ideally we should have in mind that we want to gain nourishment and strength to be able to continue our service to Hashem. When we pray for health, we should intend on using that good health in serving God.

Idolatry is the exact opposite. Idolatry is about attempting to manipulate the forces of nature in order to fulfill one’s own needs. Many people foolishly believe that there is a “sun god” or a “rain god” etc. and that by worshiping them they will receive the proper amounts of rain or sunlight for their own crops and produce. Idolatry is all about trying to fulfill your own selfish motives, there’s no relationship what so ever between the individual and the idol. In essence, when serving an idol you’re not worshipping the idol; you’re worshipping yourself.

The same idea holds true when it comes to sexual relations. Sex is meant to take place only after marriage because it is the highest expression of love that can exist between a man and woman, and marriage is where a man and woman designate themselves to one another completely. Furthermore, the ultimate purpose of sex is to reproduce, to bring a child into this world; the physical pleasure is merely secondary. (*see footnote*) Before marriage, a co-ed relationship is meant for each individual to absorb the other’s personality and character traits, which may eventually lead to feelings of love for one another. The relationship then leads to marriage, when each individual decides that they want to spend the rest of their lives with their partner (of the opposite sex, of course) and that they wholeheartedly love him/her for who they are. Unfortunately, people do engage in pre-marital sex and it clouds their vision, and the decision to get married, if it ever happens, is usually based solely on the physical aspect of the relationship. Years after this couple gets married, their sexual desire for one another slowly fades away and so too does the entire marriage. Sex has become so open and publicized among us these days and our understanding of it has become so twisted and perverted which is why pre-marital sex is considered "normal". At the same time, the divorce rate has never been higher; according to statistics, you are considered odd if you don’t get a divorce! Is there a connection between the desensitization to pre-marital sex and the ridiculously high divorce rate? I’ll let the reader decide.

When a couple decides to engage in pre-marital sex the only reason for it is because they can’t control their natural sexual urges and therefore sex occurs, not because you love your partner, but because you need to satisfy your own desires. It is very often that in sexual relationships each partner says that they truly love the other; but do they really? The following example conveys a very important concept in relationships: Often times, when it comes to food, people may say something like “I love chicken”. But if, for some strange reason, you really "fell in love" with the actual chicken, you wouldn’t be eating it! Really what you’re saying is “I love the way I feel when I eat chicken”. If one truly takes enough time to contemplate his/her own co-ed relationship, they should ask themselves “Do I love him/her? Or do I love the way he/she makes me feel?” Unfortunately, most of the time it’s the latter.

But what if a couple is truly in love and they feel that they want to express their love to one another on a higher level? That’s what marriage is for. And what if the couple feels they aren’t ready for marriage? Then clearly they shouldn’t be dating in the first place! There’s no need to bring sex into a pre-marital relationship if you’re in love. Therefore, just as idolatry is completely about worshipping yourself, so too prohibited sexual relationships is all about worshipping your own desires. (This does not only apply to pre-marital sex but to all the other illicit relationships listed in Leviticus 18:1-22).

But why was this particular form of molech idolatry specified here? The answer is quite clear. Just as the molech idolatry involves sacrificing your own child in order to perform the idolatrous ritual, which is actually an act of worshipping yourself; so too illicit sexual relationships involve you sacrificing your potential for children in order to satisfy your own base desires. But it goes even deeper than that. If a child is actually born from one of these illegitimate relationships, it can ruin his life completely. Imagine what goes on in a child’s mind when he discovers that he is a product of a forbidden relationship, a relationship where his parents were only trying to "have a good time". Just as in the molech idolatry, one sacrifices their children’s lives when those children are born from a loveless relationship.

This is an extremely important issue, especially in our day and age, which unfortunately a small minority puts enough thought into. Deep down, may we come to realize what sexual relationships are truly about, and stay away from what they are not. With Passover coming up, may we truly focus on removing ourselves from the corrupted ways of the Egyptian culture that plagues our world to this very day.



Good Shabbos,

Chag Sameach,

NZL


*On an even deeper level, sexual union is the highest spiritual act one can accomplish. It says in the book of Genesis that God made man "in His image" (1: 27), therefore it is upon us to emulate God's ways. What closer way can we be like God than by bringing a child into this world? It is the closest we can get to being creators ourselves, just like God! Therefore, sexual union, whose goal is to have children, can be the most divine act we can perform.