“I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.” Mark Twain
“I have never let my schooling interfere with my ambitions” Dan Illouz (me)
I couldn’t find a better way of introducing this post than through a self-quote. I am currently in my second year of Law School in Mcgill. Yes, the great Law School of Mcgill. It truly is a great law school! Here in Montreal, some people are selling shirts where it is written in big “Harvard” and then, in smaller letters, “America’s Mcgill”. My attendance at one of the most prestigious schools in Canada in on its of its most highly regarded faculties has been mostly positive. I still stand by the fact I would have rather studied in Israel, at Hebrew U, but I do not have much criticism to give to Mcgill. Rather, what I am here to discuss today is a much wider problem, which I do not think is limited to Mcgill or Law School, but rather has spread throughout North America’s culture which also influences Israel.
When I was in high school, I used to be very ambitious. I even got a T-Shirt spray-painted with an Israeli flag in front and the words “Worn by Prime Minister Illouz” in the back. On my valedictorian speech in High School, when I started predicting what all my friends will be accomplishing in the future, I said of myself that in 2030, I would be elected Prime Minister of Israel. All of these things were done half jokingly, with a smile on my face. They were definitely not rooted in any type of Gaavah, I did not mean to imply that I deserved all these titles. Rather, they expressed a deep ambition to do something amazing with my life – to use my God given tools in order to accomplish something I care about.
Then, I went to college, and did well. I went to Yeshiva and to be honest, I’m not really sure if my time in yeshiva was originally good or bad for my ambitions. In yeshiva, in some ways, my ambitions were also temporarily limited. When I look back, I realize that in the long run, the time spent in yeshiva only enhanced my idealism and ambitions but, even in an idealistic yeshiva such as Yeshivat Hakotel, its hard to feed your ambition when your main challenge is to wake up on time for minyan and struggle with holy texts while sitting in your makom. Don’t get me wrong, I believe every Jew should experience a few years in yeshiva – many years for most - but I also now believe that during ones time in yeshiva it is essential for him to also learn about the depth of Jewish Ambition in this world, Jewish Idealism. Rav Kook writes on learning Jewish Thought (which is the basis of Jewish Idealism), that it is to Gemara like the brain is to the body. The brain takes a relatively small volume of space in the body. However, it is the most central part of the body. In order to be truly successful in yeshiva, one must understand that even the short amount of daily study of Jewish Thought is what makes the halachic study meaningful – It is the central part of Jewish learning.
This is where I get into Law School. They have an interesting saying here in Mcgill Law School: “90 % of first years in law school want to go into some form of Public Service. 90% of second years in law school want to become Corporate Lawyers”. Money is quite convincing, yes. When it comes time to apply to law firms and you can choose huge law first in New York with a starting salary of over 120 000$ (I never really checked but that’s what I heard), or an idealistic path where the starting salary is often 0$, the choice for many is quite clear. Trust me, I used to criticize people who stayed in Chutz Laaretz for money, I don’t anymore. I know they are wrong, but I cannot blame them for being sucked into the system with all this green being flashed to their eyes.
At one point in my life I had to make a decision. Am I going to live an ambitious life, with the constant threat of failure, or will I choose a stable and very comfortable life. Honestly, I would probably be so busy working in Law Firms I would not even have time to realize I’m not doing what I want. But my decision was the first option.
Some people think the most ambitious thing would be to have a very successful career. If that is your conviction, I am not arguing this. I could try arguing that some values transcend a successful career but this is not the topic of this post. Rather, I am talking of my own ambition, and the ambition of the vast majority of people who do not accomplish their ambitions when choosing a successful career. My incredible ambitions of moving to Israel, helping rebuild the holy land after 2000 years of exile, helping God's throne be slowly rebuilt through legal, political, religious means. To me, these ambitions transcend a successful career as a lawyer. This is why I say that choosing law would have been choosing a less ambitious part.
I think we all forget too easily that we have the right to have ambition. We all hesitate too much before saying what we truly want to accomplish in life. Don’t get me wrong, someone’s ambition can truly be to become the best possible lawyer. This is a great ambition! However, in general, most of us are to shy to actually express what we truly want to accomplish.
What would the world be if Martin Luther King Jr. would have been too shy to become a civil rights activist? What would the world be if all those great Rabbis would not have followed their ambitions? What would the world be if Gandhi would have simply been a corporate Lawyer in England? How would the state of Israel been declared if Ben Gurion decided to stay an engeneer in Poland or if Herzl was simply a regular, successful Journalist in France? How much light would have been lost in this world?
When speaking to those who seem to always know better what is best for me than myself, I often want to scream at them for their attempt at extinguishing my passion. I know they mean to do well, they would not want me to risk too much and then loose it all. But if I am not Dan Illouz, who will?
Don’t you realize that the Gandhi’s and Martin Luther Kings of our generations are going to be among those of us who will choose conviction over convenience!
“I have never let my schooling interfere with my ambitions” Dan Illouz
I have never let the world decide what I must make of my own, and only, life.
The issues discussed in this post are not only true for those of us in Law School. It includes decisions each and every one of us need to make at some point of our life. Will we live a life of convenience, or will be life a life of passion and fulfillment. Some have the luxury of living both, but I think everyone of us needs to decide at some point what is the more important value – convenience or conviction. It’s really up to each of us.
